Insert Witty Retort
by GideonGraystairs
Summary: Unfortunately for Jace, his sister's new-found friendship with the artsy redhead from their school means he's going to keep getting stuck with the ratty boy who trails after her like a lost puppy. Although, he might not mind as much as he'd thought he would.


_**I like this one a lot, actually. I think it was the second Jimon fic I wrote for the 24 Fics in 24 Days Challenge. First is "Wherefore Art Thou, Romeo?", which will be up tomorrow or Saturday. Anyway, here you are! Though I'm aware few of you will actually read this, as it is not the most popular ship going.**_

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><p>"Oh, we're going to be <em>such <em>good friends," his sister gushed at the red headed girl she was clutching. Jace really should have realized at that point that he was going to come to hate that one phrase with every bone in his body.

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><p>"Jace!" Isabelle all but shouted, barging into his room without knocking first. Though, that might have been hard considering the container of makeup she had in one hand and the brush in the other, dusting her cheeks with some substance that made her look absolutely no different than she normally did. Of course, Jace knew better than to comment on it by now. He'd learned that one the hard way, unfortunately. "Get ready, we're going out."<p>

Groaning, Jace rolled back onto his bed and shot the ceiling a dirty look like it would somehow help in any way to direct his annoyance at an inanimate object. It didn't, as he'd known it wouldn't, but the look his sister gave him when she caught it made him feel at least two times better. "Remind me again why I have to go along every time you want to hang out with your new best friend?"

Isabelle tapped her foot and made an impatient noise, shooting him a look that said it was perfectly obvious to the rest of the world and questioned his intelligence level enough to have him glaring back at her viciously. If looks could kill, Isabelle would be splattered on the cream walls behind her. "Because Clary's _actual _best friend is going to be there and someone needs to keep him occupied so we can gush over Channing Tatum together in peace. Seriously, don't you know anything?"

Flopping back onto the bed he'd just started getting off of, Jace whined, "But Sergio's such a _loser_. Why can't you just tell him not to come along?"

"Did you miss the part where I said _Simon_ is her best friend?" Isabelle put a ridiculous amount of emphasis on the name, giving Jace a look that said he'd better not forget it when they were actually in the presence of the one to whom it belonged. Rolling his eyes, Jace gave one last overly dramatic groan in an attempt to guilt-trip and therefore dissuade his stubborn sibling before peeling himself off the bed and heading to the closet to snatch a meticulously folded sweater from one of the many perfect rows. Shooting Isabelle a look that told her if they didn't leave in ten seconds he'd head right back over to the bed he'd been peacefully lounging on prior to her unwelcome disturbance, Jace gave his sister one last filthy glare and started for the door.

She _so _owed him for this.

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><p>Maybe Jace was being a little too bitter. Maybe he shouldn't have been taking it out on the ratty boy who was now regarding him with what looked disturbingly similar to raw terror. Maybe he should have just gone to the movie, made minimal small talk with said boy, and then gone back home without causing a fuss. Maybe he should have really just made the best of it.<p>

Of course, this was Jace we were talking about. Like that was ever going to happen.

"_Why _do we have to see a chick-flick? Dudes don't watch chick-flicks unless their girlfriends force them too. I'm _not _watching a chick-flick, Isabelle. I don't care what you and Clary want to do, okay? So untap whatever you just tapped and pick something else."

"But _Jace_," his sister whined, fingers hovering over the purchase button on the machine as the man behind them in line shot them a dirty look and moved to the one beside theirs. "It's got _Zac Efron_, who is now like the hottest person on the planet since he grew out of High School Musical_. _We _have _to go see it!"

"Why can't you do that when you haven't dragged two guys along with you?"

"Because that'll be never! And besides, I didn't drag you along. You wanted to come, remember?" There was a fair amount of emphasis on the last bit to inform Jace that if he even suggested otherwise she would do what no man wanted done while he slept. He shot a harsh glare in Simon and Clary's direction, feeling probably a little too bitter at their cluelessness.

"Well, I don't give a damn if it's got Zac Efron or the president, I'm _not _going to watch a freaking Nicholas Sparks movie, okay?" Yeah, so maybe his voice sounded a little too angry there. Maybe he also sounded alarmingly like he was about two seconds away from punching her. Still, the point remained.

"Fine," Isabelle groaned, throwing her hands up. "You and Simon can go see something else then and we'll just enjoy Zac's hotness all by ourselves, without you dragging us down." Jace ignored the pointed glare as well as the slightly mischievous glint in her eyes in favour of growling and jamming his finger onto the screen of the machine to purchase the tickets. Two to see the stupid chick-flick and two to see the only action movie that appeared to be playing. He didn't even bother glancing behind him at the mildly terrified boy who was currently giving Clary a pleading look to check what he wanted to see; if Jace was going to be dragged along here on Sandy's behalf, he was going to be the one picking the movie.

"There, happy? Now you can go watch the fairy prance around on screen and I can go see a _real _movie," he snapped at his sister as he shoved her tickets into her hand before dragging Solomon towards the theatre with him. He could distantly hear her swearing at him as he went, but he chose to ignore that. Selective hearing was a trait that happened to run strong in the Lightwood family.

Salazar was the first to take a seat, plopping himself down in the very centre of the theatre without even asking Jace where _he _wanted to sit, which earned him a sharp glare before the blond sank into the seat beside him with a huff and a purposeful tug on the collar of his jacket. Apparently, the movie had already started a few minutes before they'd made their entrance, if the tank currently locked in a high speed chase with a wild pack of dinosaurs was anything to go by. Great, they'd missed the beginning. Just one more thing to add to the pile of 'I have every right to be a bitter asshole' Jace had growing in him.

"Um," came a sound from his left all of a sudden. Jace glanced over at Samuel with a cold look and an annoyed turn of of his lips at the movie having been interrupted. "I'm sorry they dragged you along. I think it might have been my fault because Clary didn't want me to stay in on a Friday alone. So, yeah, um, sorry. My fault."

Letting out a groan at how pitiful the other boy sounded, Jace sank back into his seat with a resigned feeling growing in his chest. Clearly, Steven was just as much of a victim here as he was, so it would probably be wrong, even for Jace, to drag him down into his own bitterness. "It's fine," he offered reluctantly. "It's not your fault. It's those two she-devils ogling over there."

Sheldon released an almost startled laugh that only trembled slightly with nerves before giving Jace a weak smile. "Yeah, they're pretty bad, aren't they?"

"The worst," Jace confirmed with a grin of his own and turned back to the movie playing out on the screen in front of them. Beside him, he could see Simon doing the same just in time to jump ten feet in the air at the loud car crash that suddenly exploded across the scene. Chuckling dryly to himself, Jace decided he might as well make the best of this unfortunate experience and simply rip his sister's head off for it later. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

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><p>"Did you see the t-rex, though? That was hilarious."<p>

"I think that might actually be the worst movie I've seen in my life."

"Yeah," Jace agreed with a laugh as he swung his jacket back on and pushed the theatre door open, holding it for Simon to pass through behind him. Nodding his thanks, the shorter boy glanced around the cinema with squinted brown eyes for a long moment, presumably looking for the harbingers of this interesting evening. It was no use, though. Isabelle and Clary's movie wouldn't be done for at least another twenty minutes, which meant the two boys were stranded here until then.

Groaning at the fact that they hadn't taken two separate cars, Jace searched half-heartedly for something to pass the time. "I'm going to get a burger, do you want anything?"

Simon blinked at him for a long second before offering a small nod and heading over to the Burger King stationed on the other side of the nearly deserted cinema. The mousy haired boy blinked twice as long when Jace payed for his drink for him and then continued to stare in confusion as he led the way to one of the many empty tables. As it was, not many people tended to remain in the cinema at two in the morning, even if it was a Friday.

"What?" Jace demanded after nearly five full minutes of being stared, leaning back in his seat with a contemplative look across his fine features.

Simon shook himself out of the trance he seemed to have been in prior to frowning down at the drink he was sipping on. "You payed for me."

"You know, it's a funny story actually, but sometimes I have this mystical thing called a heart," Jace snarked back with a snort and an amused look before lifting his burger and taking a huge bite.

"Oh, haha. You're hilarious."

"I know, I'm a natural."

"At being an arrogant jerk? Yeah, you are."

"Hey, now. I know you're jealous and all, but there's no need to insult a man's pride like that."

Simon rolled his eyes and said nothing, going back to slurping happily at his drunk while purposefully avoiding Jace's superior grin and satisfied look. Nodding to himself, the blond swiped a few of Simon's fries and then went back to devouring his burger in as few bites as possible. It was strange, he thought as his gaze wandered over the boy across from him, but he was actually having— and dare he say it— _fun_. It also helped that Simon wasn't unattractive and—

Woah, woah, _woah_. Hold up there, buddy. Where the hell did that come from? There was no freaking way he found the rat attractive in any way, shape or form. None whatsoever. Although, he did have really warm brown eyes that made Jace want to melt and the glasses really suited him, not to mention his lips—

No. Stop. Bad Jace. Don't go there.

"Do I have something on my face?" Jace blinked at the shorter boy in confusion for a second before his words registered and he nearly choked on his food.

"What? No, no, you're good. I was just, uh, lost in thought, sorry." It was mildly disconcerting that his usual smoothness had been hijacked by an overgrown rat— yes, Jace, _rat_. Because rats are not attractive. And he is not attractive. _Right?_— and left him fumbling over words that normally came so easily to him. Still, Jace was certain he'd recover in no time and get over this sudden realization that Simon's lips looked very soft in this lighting and he might like to lean over the table and—

Oh dear God, when was it going to end? Simon was now staring at him with a look of gross confusion, hand frozen halfway to reaching for his fries. "Are you okay? I could have sworn you just stuttered."

"I'm fine," Jace snapped back with a sharp glare that, in reality, had no force whatsoever behind it. That may have had something to do with the sudden epiphany he'd had that he was _attracted _to _Simon_. There, he'd admitted it. He was attracted to Simon. That didn't mean he was going to act on it or anything.

"Do you need—" Except he never found out what Simon thought he might need because in the next second he'd leaned over the table, snatched the other boy by the lapels of his coat, and crushed their lips together. Two pauses later he jerked back into his seat with a cold feeling of horror in his chest and a look of utter shock on his face to match the one currently overtaking Simon's expression.

"Um," said the shorter boy, appearing to be completely frozen.

"I'm sorry," Jace muttered in response, shoving his chair out as he stood from the table to make a hasty retreat. "That was— I'm sorry." And then he took off like a cheetah out of the safari.

He was halfway across the cinema when he heard Simon calling out behind him, "Wait!" Jerking to a stop with an awful feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach and a gargantuan amount of reluctance, Jace couldn't bring himself to turn around even as he heard Simon pounding up behind him with laboured breathing.

"Jesus Christ, has anyone ever told you you should try out for track? Like, seriously, dude. You can _run_." There was a pause where Simon must have been trying to catch his breath and in it Jace silently thanked everything on earth that the cinema was completely empty but for the two employees flipping through magazines at their respective posts. He didn't think he could live with much more embarrassment.

"Look, I said I was sorry. Just forget about it," he threw back over his shoulder with as much casualness as he could muster. Which was, admittedly, not as much as he would have liked.

There was a hand on his shoulder spinning him around all of a sudden and then he was face to face with the sudden urge to kiss Simon again despite having just done so with seemingly disastrous consequences.

Oddly enough, it wasn't Jace who gave in to the urge to lock their lips together this time. Instead, Simon was the one who crashed into him and slammed their mouths together with a great lack of precision and care. Jace's arms snaked around his waist of their own accord and he found himself returning the kiss with a lot more force, so much so that they both ended up pulling away completely breathless only moments later.

"We should, uh—" Simon swallowed and licked his lips. "We should do this again sometime."

"Yeah," Jace agreed breathlessly. "Definitely." The sudden rush of people pouring out of one of the theatres had them jerking away from each other not long after and successfully ended any further conversation they might have had. Which was a good thing, considering Jace's brain was having trouble functioning at the moment and his mouth would rather have been put to better uses than talking.

Isabelle crashed into them first, wrapping her arms around both their shoulders before either could put much distance between them. Clary sidled up alongside her with a happy grin and a wistful look in her eyes as Jace's sister went on about _dreamy Zac Efron with the abs and the muscles._

Shaking his head at them, Jace allowed himself to be pulled out to the car and shoved into the driver's seat with the jingle of keys being thrown unceremoniously in his direction. All well, he'd kill her for all this later.

Although, Jace was far less bitter about how the night had gone now, especially when he glanced back to find Simon staring at him. And if the girls' looks were a little too satisfied and knowing, well, that was another story Jace really didn't care to hear.

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><p><em><strong>I think I had a little too much fun with this one... oops. Let me know what you thought?<strong>_


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